Tag Archives: sexuality

A series of watercolour paints in the colours of the rainbow flag

LGBT History Month – Being genderqueer makes me neither angel nor demon

I’m playing catch-up with the posts I’d planned for this LGBT History Month but, hey, at least I’m writing – and, hey, how about that? I’ve made it to the end. I’m discussing my gender identity, in the hope that sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences will help people to see not only beyond the gender binary, but that each gender identity can be split into as many different ‘types’ as there are people who assume that identity to describe themselves.

I mentioned in my introductory LGBT History Month post that identifying as genderqueer does not mean that I should be subject to deification, nor does it mean that I should be subject to demonisation.

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A notebook page full of rainbows drawn with colouring pencils

LGBT History Month – I will bring together my genderqueerness and my politics on my terms only

I’m playing catch-up with the posts I’d planned for this LGBT History Month but, hey, at least I’m writing. I’m discussing my gender identity, in the hope that sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences will help people to see not only beyond the gender binary, but that each gender identity can be split into as many different ‘types’ as there are people who assume that identity to describe themselves.

I mentioned in my introductory LGBT History Month post that ‘genderqueer’ is not, for me, a cultural, political or societal statement; however, I recognise that it can be for others. I mentioned that identifying as genderqueer does not mean that I am, or should be required to be, radical in my thought and action, and that I do not identify as genderqueer in order to be antagonistic or polemical.

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Embroidery floss in the colours of the LGBT+ rainbow flag arranged as such on a windowsill

LGBT History Month – ‘Genderqueer’ doesn’t mean ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘heterophobic’ or ‘cisphobic’

I’m playing catch-up with the posts I’d planned for this LGBT History Month but, hey, at least I’m writing. I’m discussing my gender identity, in the hope that sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences will help people to see not only beyond the gender binary, but that each gender identity can be split into as many different ‘types’ as there are people who assume that identity to describe themselves.

I mentioned in my introductory LGBT History Month post that identifying as genderqueer should not imply that I am homophobic, transphobic, heterophobic or cisphobic.

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Pieces of chalk in the colours of the LGBT pride flag

LGBT History Month – I don’t have to be the genderqueer person you think I should be

I’m playing catch-up with the posts I’d planned for this LGBT History Month but, hey, at least I’m writing. I’m discussing my gender identity, in the hope that sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences will help people to see not only beyond the gender binary, but that each gender identity can be split into as many different ‘types’ as there are people who assume that identity to describe themselves.

I mentioned in my introductory LGBT History Month post that identifying as genderqueer does not mean that I am excluded from performing gendered behaviours that are historically, traditionally or typically culturally or socially associated with my sex, and that identifying as genderqueer does not mean that I must perform your expectations of this gender identity in any way, be it in attitude, action or appearance.

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The LGBT rainbow drawn in chalk

LGBT History Month – ‘Genderqueer’ does not mean ‘gender dysphoria’

This LGBT History Month, I’m taking some posts to discuss my gender identity. It’s my hope that sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences will help people to see not only beyond the gender binary, but that each gender identity can be split into as many different ‘types’ as there are people who assume that identity to describe themselves.

I mentioned in my introductory LGBT History Month post that identifying as genderqueer does not mean that I experience gender dysphoria. That identifying as genderqueer does not make me trans*, although I do recognise it has its place on the trans* spectrum. That identifying as genderqueer does not mean that I ‘reject’ my sex, nor does it mean that I have a negative body image or that I experience body dysmorphic disorder. That identifying as genderqueer means, for me, that I am indifferent to my sex.

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A rainbow of cotton yarn in front of a row of plants

LGBT History Month – Genderqueer is who I am and who I choose to be

This LGBT History Month, I’m taking some posts to discuss my gender identity. It’s my hope that sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences will help people to see not only beyond the gender binary, but that each gender identity can be split into as many different ‘types’ as there are people who assume that identity to describe themselves.

I mentioned in my introductory LGBT History Month post that ‘genderqueer’ is both who I am and who I choose to be. That identifying as genderqueer means that I identify as neither man nor woman. That identifying as genderqueer is not a phase, nor does it mean that I’ve not yet decided whether I’m a man or woman. That identifying as genderqueer permits my gender identity and expression a great degree of flexibility, fluidity and freedom.

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Colouring pencils in the colours of the LGBT rainbow flag

LGBT History Month – What does being genderqueer mean to me?

This LGBT History Month, I’m going to take some posts to discuss my gender identity. It’s my hope that sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences will help people to see not only beyond the gender binary, but that each gender identity can be split into as many different ‘types’ as there are people who assume that identity to describe themselves.

I identify as a genderqueer person. I have a positive and proud relationship with my gender identity, but I often find that my ‘performance’ of this is often not the one ‘expected’ of me, something that can lead to circumstances and incidents in which I experience, at varying levels, abuse, bullying, discrimination and victimisation.

When you identify outside the structure of the gender binary, people will typically attempt to find another structure into which they can fit you that gives your gender identity a meaning they’ll understand, or they may take experiences you have in common and create tenuous links between these to try and find a way to relate to you on their terms. It rarely works, and it’s possible to find yourself on the receiving end of annoyance and frustration because you’re either something they fail to understand, or you don’t fit in with their idea of your gender identity.

Typically, they’ll ‘blame’ you for their inability to see past their socialisation and cultural conditioning, and may even expect you to change in order to be closer to the ideal they have in mind for you and your gender identity. That’s pretty much where I am right now.

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Lipstick and stubble 1

Being called a woman is not an insult.

With my hair piled high in a bun, manicured nails and a penchant for walking down the pavement as though I were on Tyra’s runway on America’s Next Top Model, many aren’t surprised when I say I’m often mistaken for a woman – they are, however, surprised that I’m not insulted by this. Grab a drink and read along, as I take a few (long) posts to explore my relationship with this increasingly frequent phenomenon in my life.

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Tom at a pub with friends

LGBT History Month – It’s OK to go Through Phases

This LGBT History Month, I’m writing a series of posts reflecting on my own history; in particular, I want to revisit some of the key moments in my life that affected my relationship with my own sense of gender and my sexuality. Perhaps my experiences and thoughts will be of some use to other people out there in the queer community – and to parents whose children are non-binary or find themselves somewhere on the LGBTQIA spectrum. This is the second of two posts for everyone who’s ever asked themselves whether they’re ‘going through a phase’.

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Tom with some parrots in Florida

LGBT History Month – It’s OK to go Through a Phase

This LGBT History Month, I’m writing a series of posts reflecting on my own history; in particular, I want to revisit some of the key moments in my life that affected my relationship with my own sense of gender and my sexuality. Perhaps my experiences and thoughts will be of some use to other people out there in the queer community – and to parents whose children are non-binary or find themselves somewhere on the LGBTQIA spectrum. This is the first of two posts for everyone who’s ever asked themselves whether they’re ‘going through a phase’.

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