Once Antiuniversity Now and Etsy Craft Party were done with, it was nice to take a step back from my collaborative projects and just be by myself for a few days. I love my work with others dearly, and it’s such an important part of what I do, but it’s nice to put it to one side for a little while and focus entirely on myself and what I want to do, rather than what I agree to do with/for others.
For the second month in a row, I’ve been able to find the time to work on creative projects for myself. Things for my home, mainly, but there have been a few rows knitted here and there for a pair of socks I’ve had on the go for what feels like years. I’ve been surprised that I’ve been able to maintain the momentum for this kind of work, to be honest. It’s been nice to work on a few larger/long-term projects, too, and see these grow as the days go by, working on them little and often.
I often wonder about the peaks and troughs I experience in my creative practice. I’d like to know what causes each, and why they sometimes last for minutes, and sometimes for months. Is it the changing seasons? The push and pull of the Moon? Perhaps I’m just not ‘wired up’ in a way that allows me to focus on something for great periods of time. Take this blog, for instance, something about which I’ve not really written a great deal in these metablog posts over the last few months.
I just had a quick look back through the posts I’ve written over the last couple of years. The last ‘proper’ post I wrote was back in June 2015. Wow. What is it that’s stopped me from truly engaging with writing as both creative process and product? I feel a ‘peak’ coming, though; having written a couple of posts for The Five to Nine, I can feel myself being drawn back to this blog, and I can feel my desire to work on old half-written drafts returning, as well as the desire to once again pick up my Second Sex readalong. I can’t believe how that just tailed off. It’s going to be hard getting back into it, I think, but I think it’s necessary. I think it will do me good to make some progress on it.
This month, I’ve also thought a lot about which creative projects are working and which are not. I felt it necessary to take a critical look at everything I wanted to do, and everything I was and wasn’t doing, and make some changes to ensure I was doing the best for me. This meant that I took the decision to fold Threadbare Magazine before I’d even launched the title. It’s a decision about which I talk more on The Five to Nine, as I continue to explore my relationship with creative practice through that project, but I’ll say here how much happier I feel for having reached it. I’ve spoken in many previous metablog posts about how much I still wanted to work on the project, but I recently experienced a sudden desire to let it go – something I both know and feel to be right.
I’ve decided to take things much easier over the summer than I have done for the last couple of years. As I said, I’ll try to use this time to get back in the swing of ‘me’ things, and continue to have a look at my ‘creative portfolio’, to see if there’s anything that needs to change. I wonder if anything will have, by the end of the month…